sexually-noisy neighbors: what should we do? Poll question on other blog.
2007-05-15
I don't pose this poll question in gest… what should we do about our rather sexually-noisy upstairs neighbors?
Please discuss at my other blog. No need to register or provide your email address or name to participate.moved blog
2007-03-12
I have moved my blog again.
Go to http://kristinlm.wordpress.com/
weekly update
2007-02-27
Argh. I'd spent a half hour writing a post and the server timed out. Annoying, as the post and the half hour are completely lost. This post will consequently be much shorter than the original!
First, readers linking in from myspace... please register with Shoutpost.com (the host of this blog) if you want to comment on any entries. Also, this lets me see who's reading. Thanks :)
In what is hopefully the final installment of the AWOL psychiatrist... there was resolution on this issue on Thursday and Friday last week. I spoke to the psychiatrist with whom I do CBT (cognitive-behavioral therapy), and she interceded with her supervisor on my behalf. He contacted my med-managing shrink, who called me that night and said it was okay if I wanted my CBT-shrink to manage my meds until the time she returns to town (I already knew why she was gone -- her mom has cancer and they don't know how much time she has left). So that's what's happened. My dosage was increased on Friday, and thank goodness I can already see a little difference. Working yesterday was way easier than last week, and I'm not feeling my usual monthly downturn in mood thus far, with one small exception.
The exception is in relation to the wedding. Even though we've sent out the invitations to the Copenhagen ceremony, there's still a big part of me that just doesn't want to bother with all this any more. My heart just isn't in it, no matter how hard I try to get back into it. Now it just feels like something very expensive that we need to endure (something like surgery?). I know that I'll go through with it for Jan and our families, mostly because this ball's already rolling down the hill and it's too late to stop it. But I don't really feel like doing much if any of it. I'm not looking forward to my shower, and I'm dreading having to put up with all the awkward parental interactions at the ceremony and reception. Part of me feels like I always knew this was going to be a problem and that it was stupid to even try to have a wedding (just knowing that there's been so much conflict about it just makes the whole event still feel poisoned). It's not that I'm trying to be a stick in the mud, a martyr, or a spoilsport. It's just been a bad situation and extra stress that I haven't needed, and I just still feel bad about it. True to CBT form, I keep trying to examine my automatic thoughts about it and keep trying to reframe them, but they seem like very small weapons against such crushing feelings.
This week I'm trying to get excited about it by going shoe shopping. I have two options, and I hope that somebody has an opinion about them (hence the plea to myspace-based readers about registering!).
Option 1. I like the style of these better but am concerned that the heel is too high. I wore flats when I had my dress fitted.
Option 2. The heel is shorter, but I like the style of these less. I have a taupe pair of work shoes that look just like these already in my closet.
Either way, I will probably try to get them dyed afterwards so I can wear them again on dressy occasions. What do you think?
Back to work for me... until later!
this just says it all...
2007-02-26
This just says it all... now if they could have only worked "truthiness" into it somehow...
AWOL Psychiatrist
2007-02-21
Today I hauled myself out of bed 20 minutes early because I knew I had a 9:00 appointment with the shrink who manages my meds. I have adult ADD and take strattera for it. No biggie, except that lately my dosage hasn't been helping, and I haven't been able to concentrate well enough to get through my work without getting extremely frustrated. I'd actually tried calling this doc about this issue two weeks ago. She didn't return my call, but I figured that was because I'd mentioned that it wasn't an emergency.
I have these appointments at a large, assembly-line style outpatient clinic. I register and pay for the appointment in one office on the ground floor, then go up to the fourth floor to check in for the appointment, then go up to the 5th floor to wait for my doctor. On my way up to the 4th floor, I bumped into one of my colleagues in the elevator (always uncomfortable, given that we're psychologists). When I finally made it to the 5th floor waiting room, an angry-looking guy was hanging out there. After a couple of minutes, he asked me "Are you here to see Dr. so-and-so?" Turns out, he was her 8:30 appointment, the doc hadn't shown up yet (it was already 9), and she'd missed their appointment the week before, too. Five minutes later, he stormed out of the waiting area, presumably to go downstairs to the check-in desk to complain.
About 15 minutes later, the secretary from the check-in desk came upstairs to find me. The doc had left town the week before because her mom was ill (which I'd known), and hadn't returned or checked in with her supervisor yet. The secretary promised that she'd try to get me into somebody else's schedule right away if I could wait. I went downstairs with her to wait in the 4th floor reception area. 20 minutes and a December issue of Time later, she came back and told me that nobody could see me today, and that the scheduler would set up another appointment for me with my regular doc or with another. That was definitely wishful thinking on the secretary's part, because the scheduler couldn't get me in with ANYBODY until March 14.
Yup, that's correct... 3 weeks, when I've been trying to get in touch with my regular doc for 2 weeks and know that I need a dosage change. 3 weeks, when I can hardly think straight long enough to read a full paragraph in one article from the pile of articles I need to digest to write my current paper. Yes, the current paper I will be presenting in front of who knows how many people at a conference at the end of March. Maybe I should also say at this time that it can take two weeks for Strattera to "kick in" (if it does at all), meaning that it's possible I'll be this scattered up until the day I have to give the paper. This means it's quite possible I *won't* be able to write it until then, or perhaps not even after.
The scheduler recommended that I call my doc again to see if she'll call in an increased dose over the phone, but I don't know how effective this will be given that she still hasn't returned my call from two weeks ago. I have left her a voice mail message already. I'm glad that I see my talking-shrink tomorrow, because she might have a better idea of what to do (unfortunately, the talking shrink can't prescribe me meds because she does CBT with me... I don't quite get the conflict but wish that there were a way around it). I can also try to call my PCP (primary care physician) but I'm not optomistic about her being so helpful.
Of course, I was outside of the building, across the street, and halfway down the next block by the time I remembered that I had to return to registration on the 1st floor in order to ensure that my insurance wasn't charged for this visit, and to get my $20 copay refunded to me. It was well after 10:00 before I made it in to my office, which is just a few blocks down the street.
I'm entirely disgusted with my local health care system and am pretty mad about the way they treat people in it. This is ridiculous...
Weddings and Marriage
2007-02-19
Lately it seems that no matter what I do, I can't get away from weddings. I came home from work tonight only to discover a new MTV series called Engaged and Underage . The premise is exactly that... young couples who get married, despite being quite young. Some of them seem more prepared than others, but all in all, they look like little kids playing wedding and house. Watching this program was kind of like watching a train wreck... I couldn't bear to watch these kindergardeners whine and moan, but at the same time, I couldn't tear my eyes away from the screen... Watching just two episodes made me glad that we waited to get married until we were creepin' up on 30 (instead of eagerly looking forward to our 21st birthdays).
Jan and I are already married, but we're planning a second wedding, which will occur this coming June in his hometown of Copenhagen, Denmark. We started planning both of our weddings on our engagement cruise to Oslo in December 2005. I wanted to get married in Denmark, and he wanted to have an Elvis wedding in Las Vegas. As it turns out, we get to have both. We were legally married in Las Vegas last July so we could be together in the US. Elvis and ten close friends were in attendance. Before our wedding at the Graceland Chapel, none of us knew that Elvis drives an Escalade! We're having our religious ceremony in Jan's family's church. Elvis will not attend, but about 80-100 friends and family members will be there to witness our vows.
I had been pretty excited about all the planning until my family decided to add to my stress load. Although the dust has settled, now I have to work hard to get excited about it again. We still have big details to finalize, such as cake, flowers, etc., and I want to be able to enjoy it instead of just trying to get through it. I am doing my best... but I think it will take a little while longer to really feel excited about it again. We sent out our invitations this weekend, and I didn't feel like diving into the mailbox to pull them back out again. This is probably a step in the right direction!
I picked up several books at the library over the weekend, and they've been interesting reading. It seems that having one "fun" wedding before the "meaningful" ceremony made me side-step some aspects of the rite of passage. This is definitely an oversimplification, but women purportedly go through a process of separating from their families of origin prior to the wedding. This enables women to build their identity as a wife to their husband, and helps them build their identity as a couple. In my personal and professional opinion, this seems a bit like old-fashioned crap. Maybe this is more true for 19-year-olds who have never lived on their own, but can this really be true for women more like me (30, on my own for almost a decade, who lived with her hubby for at least 5 years before getting married)? Jan and I had an identity as a couple long before we danced up and down the aisle to Viva Las Vegas. I'm trying to keep an open mind while I finish the books (citations below).
Moir-Smith, A. (2006). Emotionally engaged: A Bride's guide to surviving the "happiest" time of her life. New York: Hudson Street Press.
Nissinen, S. (2000). The conscious bride: Women unveil their true feelings about getting hitched. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.
getting started...about me.
2007-02-19
Hi -- I'm Kristin. I had/have a blog on myspace but I'm giving it up for various reasons which I will not enumerate. Now I'm starting over on ShoutPost, and I already miss being able to plug in music files!
A little about me... I'm 30 and (legally) married to Jan Erik. We've been together for almost 7 years, and have lived together for most of that time. We have two cats, and they are very spoiled little felines! We are currently planning our religious wedding ceremony, which will occur in Denmark this coming June. I will post more about this later.
I have a Ph.D. in developmental psychology, and am currently employed as a Postdoctoral Fellow (otherwise known as a data monkey) at a large university in Pennsylvania. I do research, day in and day out. It's okay, but I don't want to do nothing but research for the rest of my life. I also taught during grad school, which was sometimes fun and sometimes not so much fun at all. For example, I enjoyed teaching a section of Intro to Psychology one summer because my class was mostly international students; however, I did not enjoy TA'ing Intro the following autumn, when my class was full of graduating seniors who thought they knew more than me simply because I look(ed) young. I will be going back "on the market" in the autumn, and anticipate blogging about the joy that is the academic job search.
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